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Godless Heathens Disappointed at DNC Lack of Diversity

Barak Obama, U.S. President
and American Idol hopeful

As the Democratic National Convention culminated this Thursday with President Baraka Obama's acceptance of the Democratic nomination, godless Heathens expressed their disappointment about the lack of diversity represented at the DNC.

"The Democrats had no problem confirming the GOP's accusations of being commie pinko socialists when they chose to feature Mayor Julian Castro as the first Latino DNC keynote speaker in history," said Andrew Erikkson, 35, chairman of the Norse-American Association of Atheists and Humanists. "But when it came to confirming Republican fears that Obama is a godless Heathen, they really dropped the ball."

"We were promised by the incoherent ravings of the Tea Party that Obama would be a president who would speak for our community and represent our needs," Erikkson continued. "But in the past four years, I've seen little evidence of that. It almost makes me think the Tea Party was completely wrong about him."

Rachel Sorrennsen, 42-year-old mother of three and longtime member of NAAAH, had a similar response. "Democrats are really patting themselves on the back right now for their inclusiveness and diversity, but I just don't see it. I mean, sure, they invited Congresswoman Judy Chu, the first Chinese American woman ever elected to Congress, to give a speech, along with women's rights activists Lilly Ledbetter and Nancy Keenan, and Georgetown Law School Graduate Sandra Fluke. And they got Barney Frank, who became the first openly-gay member of Congress to marry his partner, and Tammy Baldwin, who might become the first openly-lesbian Senator. And there was that firefighter from Ohio, Doug Stern, and that former Florida governor, Charlie Crist, who were both life-long Republicans. But besides the Union leaders, military families, feminist activists, LGBTQ rights supporters, the African-American, Asian-American and Hispanic political figures, and Tammy Duckworth, the trilingual Thai-Chinese-American veteran who lost both her legs flying helicopters in the Iraq War..... I really didn't see very much diversity at all."

It's not real diversity until our political leaders bend over backwards to pander to the very specific intersection of minority special interests that our organization represents.

Other Norse atheists were willing to concede that the Democrats' failure to include godless Heathens in the national convention platform this year was understandable given the current political climate. "Of course the Democrats and Republicans are barely distinguishable, but that's to be expected," said NAAAH secretary Bob Wollff, 29. "Obama won't be able to capture the swing vote if he wears his diversity on his sleeve. Democrats are going to have to really downplay their radical inclusiveness of minorities if they want to win in November."

"I still look forward to the day when godless Heathens can stand proudly and say, 'That's my president!'" Wollff added optimistically. "But we have a long way to go. Because it's not real diversity until our political leaders bend over backwards to pander to the very specific intersection of minority special interests that our organization represents."

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Five Back-to-School Essentials for Pagan Kids

Pagans Enjoy Final Days of Summer, Debate Skyclad Tradition

Nude Reaches for Thing on High Shelf
by Karl Struss

This Labor Day, American Pagans flock to nude beaches, naturist communities and remote wooded groves to celebrate and make the most of the final days of summer clad in nothing but warm sunlight and gentle breezes. For many, the holiday weekend provides an informal mark to the end of the season for skyclad rituals and the beginning of autumn, when chill temperatures and inclement weather often discourage many Pagans from attending outdoor gatherings in the buff.

"Nothing beats the feel of grass between your toes and wind against your cheeks when you're communing with the spirits of nature and the Earth Mother," said Gary Hunter, 32, High Priest of the Circle of Milkweed of Allentown, Pennsylvania. "But as a Witch, I honor the changing seasons the way my ancestors did: by wearing a sweater and remembering to put all the storm windows down."

"Anyway, you really don't want to step on a chestnut in bare feet. Seriously. Ouch," he added.

For some Pagans, the end of the skyclad summer season is not a matter of practicality, but of decorum. Susie OakCrow, 56, a resident of New Orleans, Louisiana, told reporters, "It's still pretty hot down here until well after Samhain — but skyclad ritual in November? It just doesn't seem right. My mother always taught me it was very poor manners to go skyclad after Labor Day."

However such traditions may be dying out as a younger generation of Pagans scoff at what they see as an example of outdated etiquette. "Nobody cares if you still go skyclad after Labor Day anymore," said 19-year-old New Hampshire Witch, Angelique Widdershins. "And thanks to global warming, you can enjoy warm weather for most of the fall without having to worry about frostbite." Widdershins says she and some of her friends often continue to celebrate their rituals skyclad even into the winter months, while others refuse to go skyclad at all, insisting on wearing practical, comfortable clothing all year long. "I guess we're like a lot of teens that way, rebelling against the rules that our parents set for us," she remarked.

Still, elders like OakCrow remain less than enthusiastic about the change. "Kids today only care about feeling comfortable about their bodies. They don't appreciate that part of the sacredness of ritual is being surrounded by other pasty, flabby covenmates who feel just as awkward as you do."

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Should today's Pagans keep the old tradition alive? Do you go skyclad after Labor Day?
Lanx Satura wants to know what you think! Share your opinion in the comment section.