Friday, September 7, 2012

Godless Heathens Disappointed at DNC Lack of Diversity

Barak Obama, U.S. President
and American Idol hopeful
As the Democratic National Convention culminated this Thursday with President Baraka Obama's acceptance of the Democratic nomination, godless Heathens expressed their disappointment about the lack of diversity represented at the DNC.

"The Democrats had no problem confirming the GOP's accusations of being commie pinko socialists when they chose to feature Mayor Julian Castro as the first Latino DNC keynote speaker in history," said Andrew Erikkson, 35, chairman of the Norse-American Association of Atheists and Humanists. "But when it came to confirming Republican fears that Obama is a godless Heathen, they really dropped the ball."

"We were promised by the incoherent ravings of the Tea Party that Obama would be a president who would speak for our community and represent our needs," Erikkson continued. "But in the past four years, I've seen little evidence of that. It almost makes me think the Tea Party was completely wrong about him."

Rachel Sorrennsen, 42-year-old mother of three and longtime member of NAAAH, had a similar response. "Democrats are really patting themselves on the back right now for their inclusiveness and diversity, but I just don't see it. I mean, sure, they invited Congresswoman Judy Chu, the first Chinese American woman ever elected to Congress, to give a speech, along with women's rights activists Lilly Ledbetter and Nancy Keenan, and Georgetown Law School Graduate Sandra Fluke. And they got Barney Frank, who became the first openly-gay member of Congress to marry his partner, and Tammy Baldwin, who might become the first openly-lesbian Senator. And there was that firefighter from Ohio, Doug Stern, and that former Florida governor, Charlie Crist, who were both life-long Republicans. But besides the Union leaders, military families, feminist activists, LGBTQ rights supporters, the African-American, Asian-American and Hispanic political figures, and Tammy Duckworth, the trilingual Thai-Chinese-American veteran who lost both her legs flying helicopters in the Iraq War..... I really didn't see very much diversity at all."

It's not real diversity until our political leaders bend over backwards to pander to the very specific intersection of minority special interests that our organization represents.
Other Norse atheists were willing to concede that the Democrats' failure to include godless Heathens in the national convention platform this year was understandable given the current political climate. "Of course the Democrats and Republicans are barely distinguishable, but that's to be expected," said NAAAH secretary Bob Wollff, 29. "Obama won't be able to capture the swing vote if he wears his diversity on his sleeve. Democrats are going to have to really downplay their radical inclusiveness of minorities if they want to win in November."

"I still look forward to the day when godless Heathens can stand proudly and say, 'That's my president!'" Wollff added optimistically. "But we have a long way to go. Because it's not real diversity until our political leaders bend over backwards to pander to the very specific intersection of minority special interests that our organization represents."